Health Care is Mandatory, Citizen

I know, I know, I've been picking on John "Hairpile" Edwards a lot more than any of the other Social-Democrats, but the man just bugs me in a way that even Hillary Clinton doesn't... not that there's really much difference between them. The most frightening thing is that the man actually did pretty well in Iowa; it's not likely that he's going to defeat Lady Macbeth, but as I've said before, John Edwards is the kind of man who should be kept as far away from political power as is possible. And this is why:

John Edwards' Universal Health Care Plan Would Make Regular Checkups Mandatory

Democratic presidential hopeful John Edwards said on Sunday that his universal health care proposal would require that Americans go to the doctor for preventive care.

"It requires that everybody be covered. It requires that everybody get preventive care," he told a crowd sitting in lawn chairs in front of the Cedar County Courthouse. "If you are going to be in the system, you can't choose not to go to the doctor for 20 years. You have to go in and be checked and make sure that you are OK."

He noted, for example, that women would be required to have regular mammograms in an effort to find and treat "the first trace of problem." Edwards and his wife, Elizabeth, announced earlier this year that her breast cancer had returned and spread.

Edwards said his mandatory health care plan would cover preventive, chronic and long-term health care. The plan would include mental health care as well as dental and vision coverage for all Americans.

"The whole idea is a continuum of care, basically from birth to death," he said.

Mandatory health care? There is political pandering, and then... there is John Edwards. There is Orwellian governmental control of your life, and then... there is John Edwards. There is hypocrisy, and then... there is John Edwards.

Johnny, I have a few questions:

• Will I be required to follow the doctor's advice? If, for example, I am a smoker and choose not to follow doctor's orders and quit, will the state punish me in some way? Will I be required to give up fast food if ordered to do so? Required to wear sunscreen?
  
• What will be the penalties for refusing to see a doctor for preventative care? Fines? Imprisonment for extreme cases? Disconnection from the Hive Mind?
  
• Will I be allowed to "doctor shop" to find a physician who tells me what I want to hear, or doesn't require me to change my lifestyle?
• Where will all the extra doctors and nurses required to implement this plan come from?
• Will there be a religious exemption for those who do not believe in modern medicine, such as Christian Scientists? How about those who prefer alternative medicine?
  
• Who will enforce this?
  

How will Edwards pay for this?

Edwards said his plan would cost up to $120 billion a year, a cost he proposes covering by ending President Bush's tax cuts to people who make more than $200,000 per year.

I have to admit, I laughed out loud at this. $120 Billion? In 2005, American annual spending on health care passed $2 trillion and you're thinking you're going to pay for universal health care for a paltry $120 billion a year, John?

Guess again. By at least an order of magnitude. Then double it. And considering how inefficient government spending on anything is, take that number and triple it. Any proposal that doesn't take these monstrous amounts into consideration is a fantasy, nothing more.

Obviously the goal here isn't anything more than John Edwards' election. The fact that his ideas are ridiculously impractical, disturbingly Orwellian, and haven't a snowball's chance of being implemented is beside the point. The only thing that matters to Edwards is becoming President. He will literally tell anyone anything they want to hear if it advances that goal, even moreso than your average pandering politico. He will tell Americans they should give up their SUVs (while having a fleet of them). He will live in a mansion the size of a breakaway Russian republic while professing his deep concern for the poor. He will talk about reducing global warming while flying everywhere in a private jet.

And the media will never question him on it.