The Grand 9/11 Conspiracy, Explained

If someone had told me that six years after September 11th, 2001, there would be people who deny that al Qaeda attacked the United States and who, instead, insist that a sinister conspiracy is behind the attacks, a conspiracy originating within our own government (with the often-assumed assistance of Mossad), I would have...

I would have completely believed them. People like this have always existed. Today's truthers are no different than Kennedy conspiracy whackjobs, moon-landing deniers, holocaust deniers, and UFO kooks. The goal is to twist reality to fit their own beliefs, regardless of what actually happened. In this case, hatred of the Bush administration is combined with an unwillingness to accept that there really are religious fanatics in other countries who want to murder Americans, which is combined with a paranoid mindset, resulting in convoluted conspiracy theories which have about as much to do with the real world as your average Star Trek convention.

Regarding September 11th, the truther theories are continually morph and change, and no two truthers will ever give you the same theory.

Let's look at what would be involved in your average 9/11 conspiracy, if the government REALLY was behind it:

1. Funding is arranged from secret sources.
2. Hundreds of willing accomplices must be carefully screened and approached... if even ONE person gets a hint of what is being proposed and suffers an attack of conscience, the whole scheme could be exposed. Any who may tip off others or talk must be silenced before they can send an e-mail or phone a reporter.
   
3. The attacks must be coordinated between everyone involved while still remaining a complete secret.
4. The World Trade Center (and WTC7) must be wired with explosives without anyone noticing.
5. Airplanes must be hijacked, the passengers quietly offloaded (depending on which conspiracy theory one believes) and executed.
6. The planes must be wired for remote control (although this may have been done beforehand).
7. The planes must be crashed into the towers.
8. A cruise missile must be launched at the Pentagon, despite the fact that the evil cabal was willing to use airplanes in the other crashes.
9. Another plane must be crashed into the fields in Pennsylvania.
10. The explosives in the towers must be set off, causing the towers to collapse.
11. The collapse must be predictable enough to damage WTC7, since it has previously been wired.
    
12. Several hours later the explosives in WTC7 must be set off.
13. al Qaeda must be blamed.
14. Afghanistan must be invaded, despite the fact that there is no oil there.
15. This will allow the cabal to set up the invasion of Iraq, which DOES have oil, which can then be stolen.
16. Any who discover the truth must be allowed to continue to speak out, and make money on DVDs and lectures, despite the willingness of the sinister cabal to kill thousands upon thousands in their mad scheme.
    

It's all so SIMPLE!!!

Emperor Palpatine couldn't come up with a scheme as convoluted as the average truther theory.

This from a government that can't manage to keep troop movements secret, keep track of its equipment, or balance a budget. Here's an easy way to refute every truther argument: the government sucks at everything. The level of competence required to pull off 9/11, keep it a secret, frame the Arabs, and thusly start a war is staggering. The scheme involves hundreds, if not thousands, of people, millions of dollars, and complete secrecy. And for what? Truthers can't even agree on the goals of the conspiracy.

The REAL truth, that a bunch of 7th century religious fanatics exploited that very same governmental incompetence to go undetected, hijacked planes, and crashed them into buildings is much simpler. In fact, it makes use of the universal truth stated above (I'll repeat: the government sucks at everything) in order to succeed. It's simple, it's easy to explain, and everyone who isn't a paranoid whackjob can agree on it.

Of course, the truth is the last thing a truther wants to hear.